Cash and Time

Well, my name it is Sam Hall, Sam Hall.
Yes, my name it is Sam Hall; it is Sam Hall.
My name it is Sam Hall an' I hate you, one and all.
An' I hate you, one and all:
Damn your eyes.

-Johnny Cash, Sam Hall

This Johnny Cash song has been stuck in my head today. It's off his album American IV, one of his last before passing away. Sam Hall is near execution, but that's not what he's complaining about. He doesn't say, "Damn this rope," but rather, "Damn your eyes." He can stand to die, just not sustain a gaze.

I think one of the greatest difficulties of my existence is enduring with patience. I always want to see the end of things right now. I don't want to wait for a situation to develop itself, rather I want the end right now. It raises the question, am I going insist on perspective now and put myself in the place of God?

Enduring patience requires dependence. A faith that God is good, and that there is a larger and greater plan. Not necessarily even a great plan for my own life, but that God has a good plan for eternity. That's a perspective I often miss. Eternal.

Perhaps the only thing that completely forces the eternal perspective is death itself. Maybe the whole choice comes down to that point. Will I humbly sustain the gaze, or in defiance say, "Damn your eyes."

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:08 PM | Comments (2)

Snow

I went to a party this past Saturday night that Kim Moreland threw. I met lots of new people, and interestingly a common thread ran through all the questions I was asked. Every conversation somehow came back to the trip to Kazakhstan. It was great to remember so many things like the plastic ice fishing tents, walking around for hours in -20 degrees, the jelly belly guessing game, depending on God for such a small thing as which street to walk down, and a million others. But especially that last trip on the train, as for me it was an outpouring of God's spirit unlike any I have ever known.

This past year has been pretty tough in a lot of ways, but the memories of Kaz have stayed so strong. I hear that in marriage, things are sometimes really tough, but if you focus on the past times where you really connected with the person, it can carry you through the harshest of weather. It seems like our relationship with God parallels this.

And then it snowed yesterday. Apparently now, I can scarcely see snow and not be reminded of Kazakhstan. The more I think about it today, the more I see snow as renewal. That seasons come and go, and sometimes the coldest are the fullest. That snow just tied all these thoughts together. I wonder if I'll ever get to go back. Not even necessarily Kazakhstan, but just somewhere. A foreign place to become a new home. One day I believe it will happen, and in the meantime I'll be patient to truly call Boston home.

Entry posted by byscuits at 02:11 PM | Comments (1)

Urinal Etiquette?

This question is rather pointed towards the males in the audience out there, I guess. My question is this: what is the proper urinal etiquette when you walk up next to someone you know? Do you say hello? Keep your eyes face forward? Slap them on the back? Do a little dance?

Or is it all of the above?

Entry posted by byscuits at 01:46 PM | Comments (14)