I'm gonna go find Job.

Matthew 4
⁸Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. ⁹"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."

During this time of temptation in the desert, Satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. I was reminded of this passage last night, and started thinking about it much more today. Before when I read this passage, I always thought of Jesus answering immediately with his rebuke of Satan, refusing the proposal. But I think, perhaps, Jesus actually considered what Satan was offering. From a certain perspective, it was all that he wanted. And the cost seemed small. Perhaps 15 seconds of bowing at the feet of Satan would give him the kingdoms of the world - the very thing He came to redeem. Maybe He would not have to die on the cross. Maybe this way would work, too. I think that Jesus did not have a knee-jerk response to these temptations, but I think He really pondered the offer. He looked at everything that was put before Him, and after really thinking about it, He found it empty. This was even during one of the physically weakest times of His life, after fasting for 40 days. Even in this state, He found the cost more than He would give. He instead chose the hard road, the road of pain and suffering, so that we might be redeemed. So that I might be redeemed. So that when I am tempted by Satan and offered everything I think I might really want in life, I can look it in the face, call on God for strength, and then flatly refuse. Not because I have not truly considered, but precisely because I have. It is His grace that gives me this power.

Still listening to the new Sara Groves album -

Sara Groves - What I thought I Wanted
Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken yet grateful

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken, somehow peaceful

I keep wanting You to be fair
But thatÕs not what You said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But thatÕs not what You said

When I get to heaven IÕm gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful

I think it is time for me to move past trying to form a system of understanding and answers. My mind craves them - to make a nice set of neat truths. They just never quite get it. I just never quite get it. But that's the way it's supposed to be.

Broken and faithful. Broken yet grateful.

Entry posted by byscuits on April 26, 2004 12:19 PM

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Comment posted by gb at April 27, 2004 12:58 AM

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