observation

yesterday was a hard day. i had to attend two classes where problem sets were due, and i was empty handed. that feeling always makes me want to skip class. then from 7-9pm, i had a lab to attend, and did not have the pre-lab finished. i really didn't want to go to that one.

putting together some past recent experience, i have put together an observation: the times where the feelings to skip are the strongest are the times where i will get the most out of class. when i actually go through with what i know is right, i learn more than i normally do. i don't believe this is just a coincidence.

examples: in yesterday's blog, i mentioned that i was struggling with many basic concepts needed to complete my electronics problem set. in recitation yesterday where the problem set was due, most of those knowledge holes were filled. the very things i needed to know were explained. and then at one point in the thermo lecture directly following, i paused and looked at the board. for one of the first times in that class, i could look at the entirity of the information, and did not feel lost. as a matter of fact, i felt i had a good grasp of all of it (not to say i will not be studying like a madman before next week's test).

and then in the early evening, i decided to go into electronics lab an hour early to try to finish the prelab and maybe even catch up on the lab i skipped last week (i told you last week was a bad week). i really only know one person in that whole class, an aquaintance from one of the Christian groups at MIT. i sat down at a station next to him, and we talked a bit. he also didn't attend lab last week, and had come in early to catch up. during the next 3 hours, we finished last week's lab and even got ahead of many of our lab peers. it even turned out that a change had been made, and the pre-lab was not even due! as i was in the middle of this, i was completely blown away at the grace i had been shown by God. honestly, without Nigel, there would have been no way i would have finished even near that much work. in no way did i deserve such a blessing. when i had the strongest aversion to work, i was blessed the most by being diligent.

listening to Rich Mullins a lot lately. there seems to be something in the music itself, not just the words, that exudes the peace of Christ. i have never felt it that strong from a musician. i have heard this music before, but i have never absorbed it in this way:

and if i weep, let it be as a man
who is longing for his home
-Rich Mullins, if i stand

this line has really affected me. reminds me that it is okay to grieve a loss. to mourn a pain. those emotions are valuable. they point us back to a fact that hits the very root of our existence, no matter what we believe: we were not created for this place. we all know this deep down inside. when we acknowledge it internally, we realize it is okay to mourn loss. to grieve pain. because it shows us ultimately that we are made not just for a relationship with our Creator here on earth, but for an eternity with Him.

Entry posted by byscuits on March 11, 2004 12:34 PM

Comments

Comment posted by Homework Hitman at March 11, 2004 01:03 PM

Comment posted by b at March 11, 2004 05:00 PM

Comment posted by GK at March 12, 2004 02:52 AM

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