playing the fool

everything is all set with my contract as of today. i found out today it was written for a 6 month duration, which is a larger than average chunk of time. i can also take time off when i want to, cause i get official vacation time. nice.

i haven't done much writing lately. dunno why. i haven't done much sitting still lately, so maybe that is part of it. i can do a bit of that tomorrow, i think.

i have been catching up on my smallville watching. just have one more to catch up. writing is pretty good, but sometimes they do some really cheap things to garner ratings. they do a good job of not letting lana and clark get together, though. the series is crap if that ever happens. at this point in the series, the two are interested in each other, but right now clark knows the time isn't right. he is certainly interested, but decides to pass. nothing to do with lana. even with the cheese and hokiness, i still really like the series.

i really like the phrase "playing the fool."

Entry posted by byscuits at 01:51 PM | Comments (4)

new contracting company

i am currently working on a new version of the pixelbox. the new version will have virtually no color, just black, white, and grays. it may even make it's way to a new domain. i might try to think of a better name for it as well. i think i like having the term "pixel" somewhere in there, since it is all digital photography. maybe something like "pixelform." i will think about the name a bit more. suggestions? comments? how do you guys like the current name?

if i redesign one of them, all are likely to see some change. maybe i will finally even get some stuff uploaded to lonelymtn.org. the front page of byscuits.com is likely to migrate over to being the main page to the blog. davegandy.com will be a portfolio of sorts. perhaps the poetry and blog sections will be merged.

i have been really tired lately. even getting 8 hours of sleep, i am really tired. i get tons of sleep on the weekends (10+ some nights), but still have the hardest time getting up on mondays.

i miss playing volleyball, too. i really enjoy playing, even though i am not the best. i think exercise helps me sleep much better. i have been thinking about getting a membership to mit's new athletic center, but might just wait till i start classes in the spring.

i am switching contracting companies at the end of this week. this is totally great news, as the old company was taking a huge wet bite. this means i will be getting a 20% raise, and fidelity isn't out any more money. i might even get paid weekly, instead of just once a month. one drawback is that this year i will have to do state taxes is both illinios and massachusetts. i have no idea how it worked, but my old company was located in illinios. sounds like fishy legality to me...

exactly 4 weeks from today i am flying out to california for thanksgiving.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:31 PM | Comments (6)

saint louis zoo

this past weekend i went to a camera show in waltham, ma. i have been searching for a particular hard to find lens that is not manufactured anymore with no avail. they make a replacement version, but the quality of build and photographs it produces just aren't as good. i managed to find a copy of this lens (it's a canon 50/1.8 mk1 for those of you that might actually care) at a random booth. the lens was attached to an old camera body, and the guy apparently didn't know that the lens was highly saught after. i managed to pick it up for a quarter the average price on ebay! someone was later admiring my find, and offered me twice what i had paid. it was a fun day.

to address a recent post of ryan's, i will tell the story of our trip to the saint louis, missouri zoo back in our high school days (ryan, please fill in additional details, as i had actually forgotten the story till you mentioned it). ryan and i had gone one a trip to saint louis for some science fair kind of thing. they had some activities scheduled for us, and one of them was to travel to the saint louis zoo. so we went with about 100 other science geeks to the zoo. i don't exactly remember the details here, but i know it involved neither ryan or i listening to when we needed to be back to the bus. so we walked around for a while, and i really wanted to check out the monkey house (excellent monkey house in that zoo. best quality). we headed back to the bus, only to find both busses already filled with students. apparently they had been combing the zoo for ryan and i for nearly an hour looking for us. they had announced our names over the loudspeakers, and we had somehow missed it. it was kind of funny, really. there were a lot of ticked off nerds, though.

okay, so i need some more music recommendations from you guys. they can be any type of music. what are your favorite albums and groups? come on now, don't be shy.

Entry posted by byscuits at 11:54 AM | Comments (5)

snow and sun

it was snowing today. i kid you not. snowing. on my way to work, it was actually snowing. i brought my umbrella with me, cause it looked like there was some light rain. after 20 steps, i realized it was winter already. we had about 3 days of combined summer and fall, then launched straight into the bowels of dreary winter.

my bosses were just arguing about what project to use me on next. it is nice to hear, cause it is nice to know every now and then that you fill a hole somewhere.

where does all my free time go? even when i have a couple of nights at home in a row, i don't feel like i get any relaxing done at all. then on days like today (life group tonight, and have a good amount of prep still to do) i feel totally bogged down. at least i get to study read more about romans and spend time with our mit life group. i am enjoying leading a life group again. it has been 2 years at least.

the first 2 chapters of romans talk all about why we need God. about how we place ourselves at the center of our lives, instead of Christ. i find this all too easy to do. also interesting to see that when we do this, the next step is that we become foolish. so when we place ourselves at the center, the very definition of what it is to be vain, we lose accurate perception of the world around us. we even lose ourselves. we NEED God to be able to see things as they really are.

huh. the sun just came out.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:50 PM | Comments (2)

such a zoo

today has been a good day. i happened upon a pretty big issue at work, and ended up being pretty central to seeing it fixed. turns out the problem was actually much bigger than we originally thought. i had been feeling a little bored and useless here at work, so this was really cool. just another example of how good things have fallen into my lap, and i really did nothing to cause it. the really interesting part is that these sort of things only happen when i am broken and have surrendered to God that day. that result is certainly not the motivation to follow God, but i do find it interesting.

psalm 42:8
by day the LORD directs His love,
at night His song is with me -
a prayer to the God of my life.

i am going out to california for thanksgiving, and i am totally excited. it looks like i will be going down to san diego with my sister and her husband for a couple of days. we will get to see the san diego zoo and the wild animal park. i have heard great things about the wild animal park, but was duly unimpressed with the san diego zoo last time i was there. apparently now they have a whole bunch of new monkey stuff, so i am pretty excited to see that. my favorite things at zoos are the monkeys and the reptiles. the san diego zoo is particularly lacking in both, but perhaps they have remedied their lack of primate representation properly. the first thing i will do when i walk into that place is throw up my hands and yell, "this place is such a ZOO!"

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:24 PM | Comments (4)

photojournalism?

i have been thinking a lot about photography lately. i really love taking pictures. something very relaxing about it all. realized today i would love to be a photojournalist. to take pictures that tell a story. that capture a moment.

i need formal training though. i can get a decent ways on my own, but really need someone to teach me. wish america had more journeyman type opportunities. that's why i love my job right now so much. my boss is essentially my mentor. not just regarding the job, but also in life in a lot of ways.

here is a semi-recent photo. the game on sunday was rained out, and i went on tuesday:

i have also simplified the pixelbox quite a bit. i turned off comments, so you can post here if you want to say anything. i also removed some of the info about the photos, in order to (hopefully) let them speak for themselves. pretty soon the main pixelbox page will just be thumbnails of all the pictures. make it simple and intuitive.

life has been pretty crazy lately. my community is very different than it was last year. i am learning all about needing to stay in touch with those that have moved away. some people played very big roles in my life last year, and i didn't fully realize it at the time.

life changes, with or without you. i need to remember how to find north.

Entry posted by byscuits at 05:03 PM | Comments (6)

reflections

a while back i had to step back from a situation entirely. there was just so much to deal with, deep hurt, regret, and so many other things that i was not even aware of at the time. it was the right thing to do at the time.

and now i feel mostly healed from the hurt. i know there are things still left, but i think now is the time to see about reconciliation.

God has changed me so much this past year. when it all started, i didn't know very much of all of who i really was, on the inside. how sinful to the core i really am, when i do exactly what i want to do.

i was also stunned to see how long it can take to heal. how i just have to let go. i was reading an old journal entry and found a rather long entry, with some big realizations. the very last line was, "it was never my hurt to have."

still isn't.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)

in the subway

   

these were taken yesterday after work while wandering around the south station T stop. i particularly like the first one, "exit to street."

also, at the request of mr. adam taylor, i have posted the full resolution (6 megapixel, 2mb size) original of "boats on the esplanade." are there any other photos you guys would like to see in full res?

---

game 1 of the american league championship series is tonight in new york. we will have to see how well the sox do in this series. they really need to win one of the first 2 games in new york before they come back to fenway. and pedro just pitched against the a's, so we will at most get 2 games out of him this series. if they can pull it off, it will be tight. here's hopin' (not to be confused with "hoppin," cause that would be a little weird).

Entry posted by byscuits at 03:34 PM | Comments (2)

cali for turkey

plans are finalized, and i am buying tickets later this week: i will be coming out to los angeles for thanksgiving. looks like i will be there from around 9pm tuesday the 25th till early morning sunday the 30th.

hoo yah. who's still gonna be in town?

i think i have given up on getting tickets to this sunday's sox game. the prices on ebay are just too insane. i mean, i am insane, but those prices are insane. money better spent elsewhere. doesn't mean i can't head down to the park in time for the end of the 9th.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:20 PM | Comments (0)

texhoma, oklahoma

when i was two and a half years old, my family moved to texhoma, oklahoma. my father had just graduated from southwestern baptist theological seminary, in fort worth, tx, where i had been born. our family of six moved because my father had been offered a position as lead pastor at the baptist church in a small town in the panhandle of oklahoma.

when i was five, we moved away. even though i only lived in texhoma for a little over two years, i remember so much of my life there.

i remember my mom used to go walking with another lady in the church to help her lose weight. i remember i would sometimes go with them to the school's running track. i remember the morning i saw the rabbit. i remember how it was dead, but its eyes were still open. i remember how odd that was to me.

i remember the huge ditch outside of our house. i remember counting to 100 for the first time while running down that ditch one day. i remember my older siblings not being as impressed as i had hoped.

i remember my first girlfriend, andi. i remember her red hair. i remember the first time i stole a kiss on her cheek one morning after church.

i remember recurring nightmares about army commandos attacking my house. i remember the last time i had that nightmare, when i was able to placate their wrath with the promise, "if you don't hurt my family, i'll be your best friend."

i remember the school gymnasium where my father used to take us to play. i remember the game we used to play after running around, called "rocks rest." i remember the winner was determined by who had the best impersonation of a rock.

i remember getting in trouble on sunday afternoons during nap time. i remember rushing back to the bed and throwing the covers over my head, just in time for my father to enter the room. i remember the short, quick breaths from exhaustion and apprehension, and being fascinated that my father somehow knew that we had not been resting.

i remember when we had to leave. i remember not understanding why. i remember it being okay, because i trusted my parents to protect me.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:19 PM | Comments (7)

game 5, baby.

last night was game 3 of the redsox series versus the oakland A's. the sox were down 0-2 in the 5 game series, so they really needed to win. the game was tied, and andrew and i headed over to fenway park where the game was being played. as we approached, we could feel the electricity in the air. we didn't have tickets, but we did find this limo driver with the game on his radio. we hung around with him and this other random guy while the game went into extra innings. in the bottom of the 11th, trott nixon hit a 2 run homer to end the game. it was such a rush that andrew hugged the guy next to him. we then ran through lansdown street giving high 5's to strangers as we passed. it was an exciting moment.

that meant today was game 4, and the sox still had to win. andy, joel, brian, and i watched it in our room. in the bottom of the 8th, with 2 men on, ortiz, who hadn't a single hit in the playoffs, hit a shot to right over the fielder's head. that scored nomar and manny to put the sox up 5-4. in the top of the 9th, the sox closed out the first 3 batters to win, and send the series to game 5 in oakland.

ryan pierce, you better have tickets to that game tomorrow.

Entry posted by byscuits at 05:10 PM | Comments (2)

black, white, and schizo

 

one of the limitations of digital photography is that it is difficult to replicate black and white photography. some cameras allow you to take the photos in black and white, but it lacks the feel of a black and white film photo. this is for a variety of reasons, and i have recently started trying my hand at replicating the same feel using the channel mixer in photoshop. it allows me to control how the red, green, and blue colors are changed into black and white. then the hilites and shadows get clipped using the levels editor. "praise" is my first attempt at trying to replicate the black and white feel.

this past weekend was the realLife fall retreat. during the open mic, one of our mit freshman did this impression of gollum arguing with himself just like in the two towers. it was hysterical, and the second photo captures the audience's reaction.

Entry posted by byscuits at 12:28 PM | Comments (1)

music recommendations?

*sigh* another boring day at work. it was looking like things would pick up for a bit, but that has backed off again. i hate not having work to do. bleh.

still listening to matt redman's "where angels fear to tread" album. good stuff.

i wonder when waterdeep will release a new album. i just took a trip over to their website and found this one. i need some new old waterdeep stuff.

i am taking recommendations for good Christian music. exceptional lyrics are key, but good music has gotta be there too. suggestions? just add a comment.

Entry posted by byscuits at 03:35 PM | Comments (1)