and then there are the characters that dont really exist in real life. cookie cutters. punch drunk love was a oddly interesting movie, but the female role was written without any third dimension. she was just flat. her character wasnt even a real person, just an idea of what some guy wanted to be the perfect woman. it seemed that she chose to ignore all character flaws in adam sandler, and love him completely blindly. i just dont think she had her eyes open regarding the whole thing. i mean really, the guy was a nut job. and of course, they threw all kinds of weird sex stuff into that movie. we cant have a good chick flick these days without some good ole fornication, now can we? bah.

tho one of my favorite movies (mostly for the concept, not the writing or acting) understands this idea that men tend to invent women. when some guys meet an attractive woman, they see only the good character traits and fill in the rest with their imagination. now lets say that they actually get together. after a long enough time, he is going to figure out that she is not what his imagination made her out to be. no matter how amazing she is, she can never be the woman he invented, and he can only be disappointed.

then there are those truly scary times when you meet someone really attractive. you are completely skeptical about just how deep their character and personality goes, because we all know that attractive people tend to be shallow. but the more skeptical you become, the more they prove you wrong. they show unbelievable depth and conviction. so you get presented with your own lack of character, and lack of depth. thats hard to take.

over time, i have now decided that i subscribe to the whole friends theory. its the idea that for a relationship to have the best possibility to be healthy, it helps if those involved are good friends first. when youve known someone very well for a year or so, you both can really get to know each other. then if both decide (logic, not raw emotion) that they want to pursue something more than friends, since that decision can be based on an understanding of who the other actually is, then they already have a solid foundation for a relationship. sure there will be surprises, but you know them. you know their character.

and of course, this is all just speculation and pondering. as always, i make no claims to the absolute accuracy of some of what i believe, but they are pieces of my current paradigm. but since i believe that Jesus Christ is in control of my life, i believe He will shape my views as needed, just as long as i seek Him.

so i keep my eyes open, and continue to seek out His truth. because there are real truths, and there are deceiving lies. you can construct your own world, or let God help to make your paradigm True. your decision, your ball.