shocking and acapella

so im watching lulu on the bridge right now. i dunno what it is, but i just dont like it as much as i used to. maybe i just cant past the corny acting and bad writing. it needs to be remade, done properly. its a great idea, and a very interesting subject, men inventing women.

so andy and i finished the short film. you can find the rough cut of it here:
shockapella
let me know what you think of it. just to warn you, it is 20 mb, and you probably need to have quicktime 6 installed.

tomorrow im heading home for the holidays, then overseas for a while. my next blog may not be until around january 10th. still no word about my contract with fidelity.

ive been reading psalm 118 lately. beautiful.

Entry posted by byscuits at 03:17 AM

procrastination station

im sitting here now listening to 'the girl from ipanema', probably the most famous bossa nova song out there. i hear that some jazz musicians refuse to play it because they are sick of people requesting it. guess i miss the person that played it for me last semester.

God has been teaching me a lot about patience lately. i think im going to be sticking around boston for a little while. probably a couple more years. there are times that i want to just go. for various reasons i just want to chase after things, and not be patient. i want to do things on my timing, and not when God wants them done. i tend to get really excited about things, then forget about them quickly. its time that i learned patience and steadfastness. but those require discipline, and thats first on my list every day for prayer. so if you are the type that feels so inclinded to chat with the God of the universe, ask him that i would be more responsible and disciplined.

someone asked tonight if i was a musician. i said flatly, "no." they said, "huh. i figured you were. you look like a musician." i think thats one of the best unintentional compliments ive ever received.

i am being silly and putting off the cleaning of my room. we have a big Christmas party tomorrow at the wilson house, and people will be coming in and out of rooms and such. so its gotta be clean, and ive got stuff all over the place. heh. laundry, random computer equipment. and ive gotta look presentable tomorrow, so i should probably do a load of laundry. but i continue to sit in the kitchen with my music procrastinating. ben kweller now, 'in other words'.

Entry posted by byscuits at 01:43 AM | Comments (2)

carloads

sometimes the present moon
seems brighter than that absent sun
-thena dare

ive decided to revisit '5 in a carload', my kind-of-yearly favorites album. this years edition, third load (its either that or 'first day of fall') will contain music thats been significant to me over the past year. or at least the stuff i still want to hear. the front cover image wont really be a surprise to some of you, and im still working on what i want the image on the cd itself to be. if i name it 'first day of fall', it might just have a leaf on it. but i dont know where i would find a leaf like that to photograph this time of year in the tundra currently known as boston.

chances are that if youre reading this on a semi-regular basis, im probably planning on sending one to you before Christmas. but in order to make sure you dont get left out, drop me an email or post a comment here.

tonight is gonna be mad crazy. malwitz is coming over to shoot a short film that we are also going to edit before realLife tomorrow night, the last one of the year. make sure to show up tomorrow night at 7:30 at harvards science center, auditorium d to see the premier.

its gonna be a tough shooting schedule, since i also have a big planning meeting for the east asia trip thats fast approaching. and we are getting comissioned tomorrow night at the meeting too.

ive got at least all next week off from my job. my contract runs out friday, and they dont decide on renewals till next friday. so i may have longer than a week off, if things dont go well. then on the 17th, its the lord of the rings opening. too bad i didnt get tickets to the 12:01 showing at the amc theater. very sad. already sold out. and i had so much fun there last year. oh well, something will have to give. then on the 20th im heading home to spend with the fam. then late the 25th i drive to st louis, and hitch a flight getting into boston around noon on the 26th. then on the 27th, im getting into new york, where we will fly out of to head over to east asia. i think i may be tired when we get back on the 10th. be sure to check back here for the official scoop.

Entry posted by byscuits at 04:37 PM | Comments (3)

pondering paradigms

i really like the quote from cs lewis posted yesterday by gumby. perhaps it is time i stopped filling my head with silly notions of romance and false ideas of what love really is. i must admit, i am a sucker for a good chick flick, but all too often they get it sorta right, but mostly just plain whack. my biggest problem in chick flicks are when the relationship is developing in a very charming way, and then BAM, they get in bed together. the movie will be great, but the whole sex thing gets thrown in. they get it mostly right, but then twist it juuuust enough.

and then there are the characters that dont really exist in real life. cookie cutters. punch drunk love was a oddly interesting movie, but the female role was written without any third dimension. she was just flat. her character wasnt even a real person, just an idea of what some guy wanted to be the perfect woman. it seemed that she chose to ignore all character flaws in adam sandler, and love him completely blindly. i just dont think she had her eyes open regarding the whole thing. i mean really, the guy was a nut job. and of course, they threw all kinds of weird sex stuff into that movie. we cant have a good chick flick these days without some good ole fornication, now can we? bah.

tho one of my favorite movies (mostly for the concept, not the writing or acting) understands this idea that men tend to invent women. when some guys meet an attractive woman, they see only the good character traits and fill in the rest with their imagination. now lets say that they actually get together. after a long enough time, he is going to figure out that she is not what his imagination made her out to be. no matter how amazing she is, she can never be the woman he invented, and he can only be disappointed.

then there are those truly scary times when you meet someone really attractive. you are completely skeptical about just how deep their character and personality goes, because we all know that attractive people tend to be shallow. but the more skeptical you become, the more they prove you wrong. they show unbelievable depth and conviction. so you get presented with your own lack of character, and lack of depth. thats hard to take.

over time, i have now decided that i subscribe to the whole friends theory. its the idea that for a relationship to have the best possibility to be healthy, it helps if those involved are good friends first. when youve known someone very well for a year or so, you both can really get to know each other. then if both decide (logic, not raw emotion) that they want to pursue something more than friends, since that decision can be based on an understanding of who the other actually is, then they already have a solid foundation for a relationship. sure there will be surprises, but you know them. you know their character.

and of course, this is all just speculation and pondering. as always, i make no claims to the absolute accuracy of some of what i believe, but they are pieces of my current paradigm. but since i believe that Jesus Christ is in control of my life, i believe He will shape my views as needed, just as long as i seek Him.

so i keep my eyes open, and continue to seek out His truth. because there are real truths, and there are deceiving lies. you can construct your own world, or let God help to make your paradigm True. your decision, your ball.

Entry posted by byscuits at 12:01 PM | Comments (5)

deceitful heart

try as i might
love as i may
i cant change
the way you feel

ive been thinking lately about this thing called love. a lot of experiences have along the way come to form something of a cohesive whole. to quote mr greg nelson in our prayer time this morning (woohoo! 730am!) 'love is more than a feeling'. quite true. love is not this light hearted feeling that makes you want to grin ear to ear (though sometimes it is there). love is a committment: love is dang hard work. it is asking for forgiveness and reconciling when you have wronged someone, and giving forgiveness in return when asked of you. love is extending patience to someone that you do not think deserves it. love is not a feeling: love is a continual action. to quote an old school dc talk song, 'love is a verb'. love is sometimes even caring enough about Someone to let them go. when you know both of you need to move your lives on a divergent path.

there is this thing called emotion, centered right around the heart. here is one of my favorite passages, jeremiah 17.

⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

the heart is not always to be trusted. emotions must be checked with God and our own head to make sure they are okay. emotions must not rule our lives.

but at the same time, neither must our emotions be dormant, living a cold calculating life. passion and zeal are a good thing, when directed from God. when we give our passions over to Him, and He gives the right ones back in return. proverbs 4:23 says

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

the heart must be protected. what we allow ourselves to be passionate about must be directed through God. often love put into practice contradicts human logic, but never God's Truth.

alas, i know i fail miserably, being motivated by my own selfish desires. love gets munged when i try to fill my needs through a person, when i try to take instead of give. when i put myself above someone else. philippians 2:3:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

be the bigger person. love more extravagantly. lessons i try but often fail to put into practice. but God changes and works through us. He wants to make us something infinitely better than we are. and if we allow Him, He sets that change in motion and begins sculpting the broken pieces of our lives into something beautiful.

Still they were beautiful
Everyone's beautiful
All of us crawling on hands and knees in need of you
-waterdeep, everyone's beautiful

Entry posted by byscuits at 11:45 AM | Comments (3)

distance and requests

i am haunted by my love for comparison
my fascination with a single common theme
and i am haunted by the fear that i might be losing it
slipping from reality into dream
-waterdeep, and

had a good quiet time last night. ive been neglecting those way too much this past week. i hear there are 2 types of people in this world: those who have no time, and those that make time. i need to make time.

then again ive heard from someone else that there are 3 types of people in this world: those that can count, and those that cant. but i dont know if people can be quite fit into boxes like that.

ive got a couple of prayer requests for the mission trip that is coming up that im going on. we are sending in most of the visa applications this week, and neither of the team leaders has sent any in before. pray that they get there in enough time, and that everything is okay with them. also pray for finances, as each team member has $1800 to raise in 5 weeks. i have already had people offer to financially support me without me sending them a letter! also, stuff with the plane tickets has gotten a little munged, so that needs prayer too. we should have around 9 days in country it looks like. i am really excited, but very nervous at the same time. my worst is sure to come out on a trip like this...

10 points to anyone that can tell me where most of the lyrics are coming from in my last couple of blogs. 20 points if you can tell me the specific names of the songs. and googling is cheating.

the distance doesn't take too long for You to cover it
and when You reach me, You just blow these things apart
You clear the crowd that's gathered round the crisis of my soul
and whisper to my suffocating heart
-waterdeep, and

Entry posted by byscuits at 09:40 AM